Showing posts with label Marriage & Relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage & Relationship. Show all posts

Sunday, 21 October 2018


Call him by a pet name. Allow him exercise his authority as the head of the family. Do not challenge him when he is hurt. Be silent when he is angry. You can go back to him in his sober moment with apology and explain why you behave that way that annoyed him. Be quick to say "I'm sorry dear" when ever you offend him, insist on his forgiveness,appreciate and kiss him when he does.

Speak good of him before his Friends and siblings. Honor his mother. Insist that he buys gift for his parents and so be sure that he will do same for your parents. Surprise him with his favorite dish especially when he has no money at hand and never delay his food. Do not allow the maid to serve him food when you are at home. Because u may lose him to her. Give him a warm reception with an embrace when he returns, collect his luggage and help undress him.

Smile when you look at him and give him occasional pecks when you are out socially. Praise him before your children sometimes. Wash his back while he is in the tub or shower. Put love note in his lunch box or briefcase.  Phone and tell him that you miss him. Dial his number and on hearing "hello" just tell him I love you.

If he is a public figure or a politician, gently wake him at the early hours of the morning and romance him to the point of demand. He will not be entice by any other woman that day. Tell him how lucky you are to have him as your husband. Give him a hug for no reason. Appreciate God for the Adam of your life. Always remember to pray for him.
Pray together and also pray together before going to bed in the evening. May God bless your marriages.

Singles may you experience true love today and forever. May non-serious people that will waste your time be disconnected in your life In Jesus Name.

Saturday, 20 October 2018


Marriage is the only school that you gain admission into without graduating. Once you are married you are married for life! Marriage is like a shoe. When you wear oversize, be ready to drag it along through out life, and when you wear under-size be ready to feel the pains through out life".

One thing about marriage is that you don't drop your shoe or remove it at any point, no matter how painful or how stressful it is. That is why I thought it necessary to write you this letter.If you are single, there are many things that may attract you to a man or woman for marital relationship which have nothing to do with marriage, but you may be willfully ignorant of that. Here is the list of such things;

Do not look for the beautiful ones, the nice ones or the cheap ones. Look for the one that is your size. Not every handsome, wealthy or intelligent guy is for you, not every beautiful woman is for you. Look for the one that is meant for you, the one that aligns with your values and belief, the one who you meet at your life's journey. It is important to know where you're going in life before you think of getting a wife.

All sizes of shoes are not placed in the same place. There is a place for court shoes, laced up shoes, sport footwear, snickers etc. We have Children sizes, young people's sizes and the adult sizes. Know where to get your own shoe. Your size cannot be everywhere my brother, your type cannot be everywhere my sister. You cannot be a Christian, and be looking for a wife material at a club. Your wife or husband can't just be everywhere. Stick to your values and therein you shall find someone like you, but when your values are not defined anyone can just match you. Discover yourself and define your values.

When you see a brother who can play musical instrument very well or a young lady or man who has a good voice, and you feel attracted to the person for marital relationship, now what does singing or musical instrument has to do with marriage? It is called the ignorance of the singles. You may not realize this until you get into marital relationship or you get married that you will know that what attracted you to the person in the first instance has nothing to do with having a successful marriage at all. That is one of the reasons celebrities marriages do not last, those talents are not really needed in marriage, only on stage. Then you will remember James 5:13, it's when people are happily married that they appreciate their spouses singing melody to them, but if not, the voices and singing become ugly.

This is very funny, but to many singles out there, it is not funny at all, it is rather a costly ignorance. When you are attracted to a man because he knows how to dress very well, or to a lady because she has straight legs, because the person is tall, slim, light skin or glowing skin, or because the person has good set of teeth, long hair, or has a good smile, you are under the influence of common single’s ignorance, because none of these things have anything to do with having a good marriage.

If you go into marital relationship or get married wrongly to a person because of physical attraction, when the agony of bad marriage overwhelms you, you will wish to use cutlass to cut off the straight legs or whatever that lured you to the person.

In the book of Proverbs 31: 30, the Bible says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” If you are single and you are still overwhelmed with single exorbitance, this Bible verse will not make any sense to you, you will feel like, “No oh, beauty is something to me o, I want to marry a beautiful woman, that is my longtime dream.” Or “I want to marry a handsome man; in fact I can’t marry less than that.” And you even quote Bible to back it up, that God gives good things to His children. You know what? To the single, beauty is something or everything, but to have a successful marriage, beauty is nothing.

If you see a beautiful lady or a handsome young man over there, and you are attracted to the person for marital relationship, because of the beauty, you know what? You are under the influence of single ignorance which will soon clear from your eyes when you get into it.

Physical beauty has nothing to do with a good or happy marriage. If physical beauty has anything to contribute to happy marriage, why do celebrities have more divorce rate? Why do most men with beautiful wives still cheat on their wives or abuse them physically or verbally? It is simply because physical beauty has nothing to do with having a good marriage, and just as the Bible says in Proverbs 31:30 that beauty is passing – meaning the impression that the beauty of person has on you will shortly pass away in marriage and you will face the reality.

If you marry somebody because the person is financially okay or has a good job or business, after you get married, you then realize that God had already destined you to be prospered on your own without the person, then you will wish you had married the right person and prospered together.

When you marry somebody because of their financial or material influence, you will not have respect of the person and you will not have rest of mind. Later you will realize that you could have made it richer without the person, that you could have married the poor but right person and make it together.

When you see a couple in a brand new latest SUV, wearing same designers, when you see a couple spending their vacation or summer in an expensive place outside the country, and you envy them and wish you have such marriage? What a fool! You don’t know that all those things have nothing to do with happy home. Money, materials and others have nothing to do with a good and godly home. For example, there is no amount of money your husband may have that can console you when you realize he is cheating on you.

When you marry a visionless rich guy that has a Television and ignore a visionary man without a Television now, then one day you will watch the visionary man on your husband's TV. Also when you marry a wrong lady without the inbuilt capacity to support your vision, but because she is beautiful to behold, soon you will have no major project than to spend on her beauty with latest makeups.

Another common ignorance among singles in choosing partner in marriage is academic qualification. You want to marry, and you have this idol of academic qualification in your heart that the lady you want to marry must be very educated or the man you want to marry must not have lesser education than you.

When you ignore the perfect will of God for your life because he is not as educated as you want or because her academic qualification is too low, and you think, “How will people feel that after all my academic qualification I will now marry this person with low academic qualification.” Will it not sound well for people to hear that the person you want to marry graduated from so-so university, or s/he is a Dr, Lawyer, Engr. Etc.? You know what? People you are trying to impress by marrying a wrong educated person will not be there with you in the marriage when tragedy of wrong marriage starts to let loose on you.

Do you want to marry a particular tribe person or you want to marry the perfect will of God for your life? Will it not be so painful that the heart-breaking wrong person you marry is from your tribe? Rather, will you not be so peaceful that the loving, godly and right person you marry is from another tribe? Which one is better for you?

It is funny when I see people saying they must marry from their tribe or town or village as if they have not seen the worst husbands or wives from that their tribe, as if marrying in their tribes is more important than marrying in the Lord.

When you allow your parents to choose for you instead of allowing God to choose for you or when you choose to marry somebody because his or her parents are good or godly, and you go into marital relationship with somebody because it is the wish of your parents or because the parents of the person are ministers, popular, or powerful in the society, such is called ignorance of the single. When you enter into the wrong marriage, your parents or the parents of your spouse will not be there with you.

If you don’t want to marry and mar your life, destiny, ministry and eternity, but if you want to marry and make it in life, and also make heaven, then the only person you can marry and never regret it is the person who is the will of God for you. God has created a person for you that fits your life, destiny, God’s program for you and that is what is called the will of God in marriage. You may miss the right school, the right carrier for you or the right job, but please do not miss the right person God has created for you because if you miss it, you may miss everything including heaven.

In this kind of shoe purchasing enterprise, you are not permitted to try the shoe before you buy. This is why it is important to seek guidance and counseling, from people who have bought shoes before or are into the business of directing people to the right shoes (Pastors and Relationship coaches). And most importantly to avoid much time wasting time, simply consult the SHOE MANUFACTURER to tell you your size (GOD ALMIGHTY ).

"You do not prepare for wedding, you prepare for marriage." Ladies these days get so motivated when they attend wedding and they will quickly want to say yes to that guy. Wait!!! It is not just the wedding oh. The wedding is just one day. After the wedding WHAT NEXT?
  • Surrender your life to Jesus. Only in Christ you have the will of God, until you are genuinely saved.
  • Surrender your will and ways to God. Let His will be your will and His way be yours, no idol.
  • Seek Him for guidance. Lean not on your own understanding
  • Settle for God’s will, not your permissive will
  • Stay pure till marriage. No premarital inordinate affection or sexual immorality.

Finally, it is not something you rush to the market and just pick a shoe because you like or can purchase it. Ask questions -Where is this shoe made from? (Background) -What's the size (Values) -How much (His/Her interest) -How long will it last (His/Her Character) -Who made it? (Is she/He of the same faith This is compatibility) -Will it match me? (This is whether he/she love you and will accept you the way you are). Remember many are dragging their foot and they would hardly reach their destinies, many are feeling endless pains and wish they could pull off the shoes but no way!!! I have seen people with beautiful shoes and when they show you their foot, you will see scars. Beloved, it is not about the physical, it is the size, you can't know the size from afar so come close, build a relationship first but remember 'you are not permitted to try it before you buy it'. And for those who have purchased the wrong shoes, you can still make it your size again if you'd consult the manufacturer and let Him have His way in your marriage. God bless us all.

Tuesday, 16 October 2018


Nearly 100% of cheating women wish their husbands quick death or divorce to have unlimited sex freedom while nearly 100% of cheating men can't wish their wives quick death or divorce. That is why most men cant allow their wives to be physically or verbally abused by their girlfriends. Men will always stand for their wives.

For the beginners, some of you ladies do not know how to show love to the guy you are dating. some ladies think that the only way to show a guy love is by having sex with him; that is why some ladies do not have anything to offer a guy except sex. Sex is not a prove of love. Don't use sex to prove that you love a guy. As a lady, you can prove that you love a guy in the following ways:
Buy gifts for him. You can give him gifts of T-shirts, shoes, undies, singlets or even a phone if you have the money. Take him out for lunch and pay his bills at least once in 2 months. It is not bad at all. Send him some love text messages occasionally. Give him phone calls daily at least once daily, ask him how he is doing and tell him that you love him. Occasionally you can cook a delicious meal for him, maybe once in a week or once in two weeks, but not everyday like a housewife. You can also help him financially when he is broke. Take him out for shopping at least once in a year, you will not die. Pray for him advise him. Help him to build a bright future.

Guys if you love a girl and you're sure you love her, there are things you have to do to prove it. Never push her to do the things, she doesn't want to do. Always try to listen carefully to her, and understand her. Try to give her space to develop herself as a person. Take very good care of her, in every possible way. Try to call or text her, it goes a long way to remind her, that you are thinking about her.

Try to help her in every way you can, she is your helpmate and not your slave, so don't enslave her. Always worry about how she feels about things, worry about how she sees the world, try to get to know about her goals, and understand why she lives her life the way she does.

Try to trust her, now I know this may be hard especially if you have trust issues, but if you love a girl you should be able to trust her.Try complimenting her, believe me it hurts a girl when the guy that claims he loves her, but can't tell her she is beautiful. I mean you see her in a new dress and you just walk away, that's really bad. If you love a girl you'd accept her the way she is, you won't try to change her. You would love her for who she is today and not for what will be tomorrow, and you would feel blessed to have her by your side. Learn to talk, walk, dress and appear as a guy and not a lady. Love her with her mistakes, remember that you are not also perfect.

Ladies, you also have a great part to play in a relationship, if you love that guy then: You respect him, guys love girls who respect them a lot, you don't try to bruise his ego by being disobedient and disrespectful. Listen to him whenever he is talking, never talk back at a guy or walk away from him. If you notice your guy is angry, don't be in a hurry to find out what his problem is, give it time, especially if he is hot tempered, allow his temper to cool before talking to him.

Try to get close to his family members. A guy would love you more, if he sees you are in good terms with his family. Do not nag at him, guys hate it when girls nags at them. Girls you just can't wake up one morning and say you want to change your guy, that's impossible. If you want him to change, then give him time and reasons to change.

Try to show him how much you love and care about him, by being faithful. If you love your guy so much, I see no reason why your eyes should be on other guys.

Be independent, don't just sit around there and wait for him to do all things. Try to help out, guys value girls who can contribute positively to their lives.  Be neat, a guy would love his girl to be neat and presentable, don't be a talkative, guys hate that a lot. Try to give yourself some pride and dignity, as a girl you deserve to have that. Don't make the mistake of throwing yourself at a guy, that's really bad.
You don't fight a guy, just because you're having a misunderstanding doesn't give you the right to fight with him. If you are arguing with him and can't seem to sort it out, then do your fightings in prayers. It's not your job to fight and argue with your guy, it is your job to pray for him, pray for his heart and every aspect of his life.

You need to learn how to cook different delicacy, learn how to serve him, make his cutlery and neat and clean, as a matter of fact, don't serve him with same dishes and cutleries always. Learn to talk, walk, dress and appear as a lady and not a guy.

Above all put God in the center of your relationship, and there is no way you can lose.
A man can cheat on his woman and still love her but a woman cannot cheat on her man and still love him. I say this because while men do not have sex with emotions, women can't have sex without attaching emotions to it. This is the reason men simply need a place to have sex while women need a reason to have sex.Most women who take their husbands to court for divorce are those that cheat on their men. A non cheating woman would most likely never take her husband to court for divorce, unless the man exceedingly abuses her physically and emotionally to the point of killing her.

Men don't equate sex with love. A man can have sex with another woman but still doesn't love her. That's why women who fell in love with married men find it difficult to find happiness in those relationships as they are just being used by those married men. But once a married woman starts sleeping with you, she can even narrates some hidden secretes concerning her husband and she will even tell you why she hates him (her husband). She can even accept poison from you to eliminate her husband.

For men, sex and love are two different things. But for women, sex and love are one and the same things. For men, sex comes first before love (infatuation), but for women love comes first before sex (true love). Therefore, once your woman starts having sex with another man/men, her love shifts from you to that man and she can even start giving that man the best food and love than she gives you.

The fact that your man is cheating on you doesn't mean he has stopped loving you. But I can't say the same for women. Once a woman starts cheating on you, she has fallen for someone else and you people will never live the same again. And she can even kill her husband once she starts cheating on him.If your wife starts cheating, you should be a lucky man not to die in less than 10 years.

It has been found that 95% of women who cheat wish their husbands dead. That is the main reason why it is dangerous for a man to continue staying with a wife who cheats on him. That is why is now encouraged everywhere in the world including in the Bible, for a man to divorce his wife only once she starts cheating on him. Cheating women are more deadly to husbands than ordinarily criminals or weapons. There are many cheating women in the world who invite criminals to break into her house at night only to come and eliminate her man and police officers plus relatives can't detect this as the same woman tend to moan more than any person at the funeral so as to attract sympathy and hide her evil acts.

That's why psychologists discourage women, more than men, from cheating. Women can't handle the emotional conflict that comes with cheating. That's the reason an observant and intelligent man will notice that his wife has started cheating on him once he starts doing it because most women tend to lose respect to their husbands and try to avoid sex with them in most times.

Cheating Women will even be giving excuses for not wanting to have sex with their husbands. Study has revealed that nearly 90% of women who cheat find it hard to have enjoyable sex with their husbands, again an intelligent man will detect this once his wife's behavior with regard to sex start changing. But a dull man can never detect this and always tolerate fake excuses from his cheating wife until he is completely eliminated.

Study has shown that every relationship begins to flounder once a woman starts cheating. There are many men who cheat on their partners but still show them true love. But it is very hard to find a relationship in which a woman is cheating and things still remain the same.

A man would cheat but still love and respect his wife, but the opposite is true with cheating women. Once your wife starts sleeping with other men/man, just know that your death is near.

Saturday, 6 October 2018


Marriage doesn’t cure lust, if it did adultery wouldn’t exist. Self-control is still a requirement. Lust doesn’t care if you are married or single. You may be Solomon in wisdom or David in praise or Abraham in faith or Joshua in war but if you are not Joseph in discipline, you will end up like Samson in destruction... If you don't have self control, you are like a city without wall. Erection is a state of arousal of sexual desires in a man in preparation for sexual exploit. Having an erection is natural but obeying the dictates of your erection is a choice.

For every erection, there's a responsibility. Wise men have control over their erection but foolish men obey their erections. Any erection not properly controlled is capable of leading one to destruction, even to early grave. Unsolicited erection is no respecter of persons.

Anointing, righteousness, strength, age etc has no power over erection, only self-control and self discipline can curb an erection. Many became useless fathers because they didn't control their erections.

Some are in prison because they followed the dictates of their uncontrollable erection. Others have lost great opportunities in life because their erection pushed them.

Some are bed-ridden at the altar of uncontrollable erection. The stupidity of erection is that most times it is not selective, every hole is applicable. Unchecked erection has led great kings to be at the bed of their slaves and maids. Uncontrollable erection has led some to sleeping with their blood sisters.

Erection has not left the clergy out of the drama, as many have been found messing up with those they ought to be Shepherd over. What a tragedy?
A strong man is not measured by the level of his physical muscle or by the number of nations he has conquered but by his ability to control his erection. No man in history could be said to be more powerful than Samson yet his erection made him the weakest in history, his erection made him fall at the lap of a woman.

David killed Goliath and conquered many great nations but he couldn't conquer his erection, he became weak at the sight of Bathsheba, the wife of his servant. Reuben ruined his future and generation after him because of his uncontrollable erection.

Don't let your erection destroy your destiny! Your erection is a sign you are a real man but following it to everywhere it leads you is a sign of weakness. Any man who cannot control his erection can't fully control his life. The only time your erection cannot mislead you is when you use it within the confines of your marriage. Stop following your erection, follow God n your vision. Unto Him who is able to keep us from falling I commit each and everyone of us we shall all finish well and finish strong.

In conclusion, don't let your erection lead your direction unless it will lead you into destruction.


Regardless of what you are spending money on, always investigate the expenses required to sustain what you are starting. Wedding ceremonies are becoming a source of debt for many, and it ought not to be so. You or someone close to you will need this truth soon.

You don’t have to do an expensive wedding ceremony because wedding is different from marriage. Ensure you are not in debt after the wedding night because that is when the marriage begins. Marriage is an obligation the families owe you for being a good member of the family. Whether you know it or not, your family members will not want you to be put to shame on your wedding day. If your parents go into debt, there is no shame in it because it is an obligation they owe you, but it is folly for you to go into debt for your wedding. If your family cannot do it, then do what you can afford.

Your wedding is one of the many seasons of harvest in your life. Don’t spend all that loved ones give you at this time. For example, if five people want to pay for your wedding cake, collect the money with gratitude. Then find a friend who is talented in baking cakes to bake your wedding cake as an obligation of friendship. Then save the excess money in an account for life after wedding. Enter your marriage in the blue and not in red –signifying debt. I don’t see any wisdom in you going into debt.

Now another thing to consider when it comes to choosing a spouse, one of the requirements people under play is certificate for work. Some today, are following men who are not working, doing everything to marry him, claiming he is doing his masters or just done with his masters but looking for a job. Whilst the same lady will reject a hardworking man because he didn't have a degree or masters.

Too much learning is really making some ladies settle for the wrong partner. The requirement is a man who is working and not a man who has a certificate. If you meet a man with a PHD but has no job, refuses to start something small but holds on to the business of writing applications, he is not a candidate for marriage.

There is nothing which is permanent in life, one can easily lose their dream job at any time.  What you are able to do, without a certificate speak volumes than just holding on to a certificate without a job.

As a lady you need a man who is able to take care of himself and his household. This man you want to marry should demonstrate that, if he can't take care of himself or provide for you when he marries you then it is okay you don't rush into marriage with him. Put such a marriage on hold for a while for him to do the right thing.

When you meet a hardworking man who is earning and able to take care of himself and even add value to you but has no certificate or has an educational background far lower than yours, he is still a marriage material. You don't write him off because of certificates.

A good man is a man with a good heart and not a man with a certificate. You need a good heart to keep your marriage and not a good certificate. Further study is good, but it is not only formal education that makes a man a better person.

Many times, ladies look down on men who have a good heart but with a lower educational background, and go for men who are heartless but have a high certificate or educational level. What sometimes you call class is just only a mistake. No man is well rounded and has it all but when you meet a man who is determined and has a future, believed in him, give him your support and pray with him for no one knows tomorrow.

Every man is a potential business owner but not all certificate holders are employable. Sometimes you don't need a certificate to discover a problem and provide the solution for it. Entrepreneurship goes beyond certificate.

The fact that he has attended a higher institution doesn't mean he will automatically understand you and treat you right or better. You need someone who is humble and kind enough to make time and learn about you. You need someone who fears God and lives in His presence.

In conclusion, enter your marriage in the blue and not in red –signifying debt. I don’t see any wisdom in you going into debt. "Hard working farmers have more than enough food; daydreamers are nothing more than stupid fools" - Proverbs 12:11 (CEV).

Lord, I receive the wisdom for a debt-free marriage for me and all friends and family members about to wed in Jesus’ name, Amen!

Tuesday, 4 September 2018


Types Of Husbands
1: BACHELOR HUSBAND :- Does things on his own without consulting wife. Hangs out a lot with friends more than wife. Not serious about marriage life.

2: ACIDIC HUSBAND :- Is always boiling like acid and always angry violent, moody, dominating and very dangerous.

3: SLAVE HUSBAND :- Wants to be treated like a King but treats Wife like a Slave. Likes wife to perform old tradition respect and hates being called by their first name.

4: GENERAL HUSBAND :- Husband for every woman. Loves and cares for girlfriends more than his wife. Likes giving money to girlfriends and has more female friends.

5: DRY HUSBAND :- Very moody and stingy, doesn't consider wife's emotions, doesn't make the relationship enjoyable. Has no sense of humor.

6: PANADOL HUSBAND :- Uses wife as problem solver, only loves wife when needing something from her. Is clever and knows wife's weaknesses and capitalizes on that to get relief from wife.

7: PARASITE HUSBAND :- Lazy and only loves wife for the sake of money. Uses wife's money on girlfriends. No initiative and does not help wife with house responsibilities.

8: BABY HUSBAND :- Irresponsible and childish and can't make decisions on his own without asking his Mother or relatives; compares Wife to relatives and runs to them always if something goes wrong.

9: VISITING HUSBAND :- Not always at home, comes as a visitor. Provides family all material things but has no time for them.

10: CARING HUSBAND :- Caring and loving. Provides material and emotional needs and makes time for family. Guides home spiritually. Very responsible and treats wife as partner and helper.

Types Of Wives
1. BOXING WIVES :- These are the type of wives that fight with their husbands delibrately just to provoke him to anger.These kind of women are ready to fight with the husband mostly in the public area to create a scene.

2. HEADMASTER WIVES :- These are the wives that are well paid in either their career or business but they disrespect and put their husband down because they have the financial edge over their husbands..

3. POLICE WIFE :-This type is very common. These are the wives that inspect or police their husbands everywhere they go. When the husband goes to the bathroom they pick up his phone to quickly check his messages. If the husband makes a call they hide behind the door to listen to every conversation. If the husband goes out they make sure he is followed and has friends that keep an extra eye on the husband activities.

4. DICTIONARY WIFE :-These are the wives that dont listen to the advise of their husband but rather they prefer to listen to their mother or sister or friendd. Whenever their husband says something, they quickly go to verify from either the mother, sister, friend e.t.c like a dictionary to know if she should go ahead with what their husband instructed or not.

5. PARTY WIVES :- They prefer to buy every available asoebi and shoe and bag to attend any available party even though her family does not have the financial muscle to entertain such expenses. They are readily available at every party and owambe thereby neglecting their children, husband and home.

6. PAMPERED WIVES :- These are also known as daddy's little girl. They call and report their husband to their father at any slight argument or conversation.The rich ones are highly dangerous especially when the husband is working directly for the father.

7. DUSTBIN WIVES :- The name might sound harsh but they exist.These wives leave the home unkept and dirty and you only see them rushing to clean the house only when they have a visitor at the door.There are several occasions were some husbands get home after a days work only to find the house upside down and dirty.

8. GOD FEARING WIVES :- They are caring and loving. Provides emotional needs and creates extra time for family. Guides home spiritually, Very responsible and treats husband and family with respect.

9. FACEBOOK WIVES :- They are always on the internet, instagram, posting pictures with twisted legs, chatting and even forget to do basic shores because they want to know what is happening on FB.

So for the ladies which one are you and for the guys which one do you currently have. Kindly go through so that you can work on yourself if need be.

12 Kinds Of People You Must Never Marry
1. AN UNBELIEVER: Don’t marry a person who is not born again 2 Cor 6:14. The salvation of the person you are marrying must be properly checked and verified. There is no union between light and darkness, if you marry the child of Satan, Satan becomes your father in-law. The danger is that what you expect from them, they don’t have the capacity to give.

2. SOMEONE WITHOUT VISION OR DIRECTION OR SOMEONE WITH AN OPPOSITE VISION OR DIRECTON. A person without direction is an accident bound to happen. Don’t marry a man with television, marry a man with vision.

3. DON’T MARRY A DESPERATE PERSON.  If you close your eyes to the errors of today, you will live in horror tomorrow. Take your time. Don’t be desperate. God may come later but never late.

4. Don’t marry someone who does not love you. Don’t marry because of lust. Love should be well balanced between the two parties.  Remember that Faults are thick when love is thin and love is thin when faults are thick. Love covers a multitude of sins.
How to know if someone loves you? He will possess the qualities outlined in 1 Cor 13:3-8. It is better to be single than to be married and miserable. If there is no love, do not marry. Marriage can be heaven or hell.

5. DO NOT MARRY A MUMMY OR DADDY’S BOY. They are tied to their parents’ apron. They cannot take decisions on their own without their parents input.

6. DO NOT MARRY A LAZY BONE. Ask him, what is his perspective about work?  What is his belief about work? Because there is no job now does not mean that you cannot do anything. Be resourceful.

7. DON’T MARRY A DOMINEERING PERSON: He or she wants to subject you to do things their way. Don’t marry a woman that will dictate to you. Don’t marry a man that you cannot submit to. Don’t marry someone you are not proud to associate with.

8. DON’T MARRY AN UNSERIOUS OR COSMETIC BELIEVER. They are fake and lukewarm. They need to be persuaded to come to church. It is proven by 90% that a person that does not love God will not love you.

9. DON’T MARRY SOMEONE WHOSE FOCUS IS ON YOUR PHYSICAL LOOKS. You may be attracted to a person but you will live with the person inside not the external things you see. Pay attention to character, Spiritual content and values Prov. 30:30

10. DON’T MARRY AN ABUSER. Don’t marry someone who treats you like a servant. Don’t marry a dictator who commands you around. Marry a friend not a boss. Anyone who fails to manage his emotions cannot manage another person’s heart.

11. DON’T MARRY A STRANGER. Don’t marry someone you have not seen before. For instance, an arranged marriage. Verify the identity of the person you are marrying to avoid mistakes

12. DON’T MARRY SOMEONE WHO IS NOT UNDER ANY AUTHORITY. He may be a rebel. Don’t marry someone who respects and listens to no one.

Friday, 31 August 2018


First of all. There’s a myth going around that says love is uncontrollable. "I just fell in love" - like it was a ditch or something. You don’t fall in love anymore than you fall out of love. Love is a choice. You choose to love. You choose not to love.

In fact, loving someone when you don’t feel like it is a greater expression of love than loving someone when you do feel like it. Love is getting up in the middle of the night and helping a sick child when that’s the last thing you want to do. Love is being patient with your spouse when they’re irritable. Love is when you do the loving thing even when you don’t feel like it.

When you love in spite of your feelings, that’s what I call loving by faith. And don’t forget, it’s easier to act your way into a feeling than feel your way into an action. If you act in a loving way, eventually the feelings will come back.

What about you? Have you been deceived by the myth that love is uncontrollable? Have you stopped loving someone because "the feelings just aren’t there anymore"? Maybe it’s a former friend, a neighbor, a co-worker, a relative, or your own spouse. Remember, love is a choice. And maybe you need to make that choice right now.

The main purpose of marriage is to create a stable home for children to grow and thrive; it protects you from intimate immorality; for procreation. It is a beautiful picture of the relationship of Christ and His church. It is part of God's ordained plan to provide the world with a picture of His love for men and women. It becomes the means for married couples to demonstrate their love for God. You shouldn't marry just to get something.

You must discover yourself and learn to love yourself before you marry. You must be content. Once you accommodate yourself, you then can give love to a man. The Proverbs 31 woman is sure of herself; is content and helps her husband to grow spiritually in God. You may blame your man for not taking good care of you, but you should also take a good look at yourself. You must take good care of yourself and make yourself appealing to your husband
1 Kings 19:1-2;1. And Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and withal how he had slain all the prophets with the sword. 2. Then Jezebel sent a messenger unto Elijah saying, So let the gods do to me and more also, if I make not thy life as the life of one of them by to morrow at this time."
When you have a problem, you can't go around, under, or over it. You will go through it, but know that God will work it out. Pray about it. There is power in a praying woman. Don't compare yourself to other women. Those who compare themselves to others can be resentful, envious, jealous and full of bitterness.
Galatians 6:4-5; 4. But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. 5. For every man shall bear his own burden." Every man should take care of his own responsibilities and endure his own trials and not put them on someone else.
2 Corinthians 10:12; "For we dare not make ourselves of the number or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves are not wise."
Don't compare yourselves to others. God has given all of us a certain measure and you should use that measure to praise God. Remember that God should be the center of every relationship. Be excited about where you are now. You are still alive and breathing; you have your children; you have a roof over your head and so many blessings from God. Be thankful. God will do more if you are appreciative.

When you are married, stay loyal in your marriage and stay away from the temptations of the world. A wife should love and take care of her husband and herself. Be a wife to him and take care of the home. Love him and pray for and with him. A wife is subject to her husband. A husband must love his wife as Christ loves the church. A man and woman should love their spouse as their own bodies.
(Ephesians 5:22-25, 28-33). A man must love and cherish his wife and the marriage bed should be undefiled. (Hebrews 13:4). Don't have intimate relations outside of marriage. Live your life with your spouse in a way that glorifies God. Always put Christ first in everything.
The major problem is when your is discussion you with others . Some spouses complain bitterly about their partners broadcasting their issues to outsiders; especially complaining about them to strangers without consulting them. The suspicious looks they get from people when they step out, is a turn off for their relationship. Some go to the extent of fighting the outsiders; others just leave the relationship.
This is not happening because of the absence of love; rather the distance between the two hearts has grown wider. One partner is getting hurt because he or she can't express what the other is putting them through. They wished this wasn’t happening but the lack of friendship has created a barrier between two hearts.

They also end up hurting the other spouse with their actions. To them, you are supposed to be my defense, my best friend, my confidant, someone who covers my back, someone who doesn't make me feel vulnerable; you are to protect me from outsiders and not to go telling the outsider what you are not happy with, about me. To me, in your claim to seek help, sympathy, audience and release stress, you have painted me black. Don't expect your relationship to work if you will go out and talk to everyone else about the problem, but never talk to each other about it.

The solution to this problem is to make your spouse your best friend, look at things from their views, express your hurt to them instead of accusing or putting blames on them. Give them time to get over issues and always forgive them for their actions.
Focus on their strengths; anytime they do things you are happy with, praise them and also use the opportunity to tell them nicely what you didn’t like. If talking to your partner one-on-one is becoming a problem to you, write them a letter. Start with the things you like about them, tell them what you don't like and also add what you want to see. Don't be selfish in the relationship; put your partner's happiness first, look for ways and means to make the relationship work rather looking for people to sell your partner to.

Spouses should gate their relationship from intruders and gossips, and also maintain a high level of respect for each other especially when things don't go well in their union. One of the worst feelings for a spouse is to find out that, he or she has been discussed by the one who claimed to love them with an outsider; it feels like they never meant to them as much as they thought, it makes them feel stupid for being in a relationship with them. I have discovered that love doesn't guarantee the success of a relationship. Love cannot help you stick to one person all year round, and on the other hand, cheating isn't always a product of not loving your partner.

In fact, loving someone doesn't guarantee not falling in love with someone else. Relationships work out mostly because of our heads not our hearts. It works out because of our emotional maturity, empathetic intelligence and self discipline; because, time will come when you'll see more beautiful, handsome, romantic, intelligent, sexy, rich, curvy and God fearing people than the one you're in a relationship with.

In those times, love will not help you. Self control will help you. Emotional intelligence will come to your rescue and commitment will keep you going. With those characteristics, no matter how you feel for someone else, the person you're committed to will rank first in your life.

You think happily married people don't see better people than the ones they married to? You think they don't feel funny sometimes? You think they don't catch feelings? They do! But understanding that commitment is greater than feelings and it  is the great arsenal that destroys those unhelpful impulses.

You can fall in love with anyone, but building a relationship takes absolutely more than what attracted you to them and takes more than love. We are too fond of loving when it's convenient and sweet. We are too fond of loving when love is there; but that can only last for just the first 3 - 6 months of the relationship in many cases.

After then, you'll realise that the feelings have dropped and it's now your responsibility to make the relationship work, not love's responsibility. Relationships cannot be readymade. You have to build it and it's never always about love, it requires commitment and intelligence.In the long run in marriages, it's not just love that keeps them together forever, it's determination and commitment.

Everyone falls in love; it takes little or no effort to do that. But staying in love? Building a relationship? Only the strong and committed ones do that. That's why we must find that one person and commit to that one, discipline yourself and bridle your emotions.Building a relationship is hard work, it's like building a career, It's like pursuing a dream.

It's  always tough. At some point it will be so bitter but you can make it work by putting your heads together. You can scale through the trying times by staying focused and committed. The kind of love that attracts two people together is not the kind of love that will keep them together. Be emotionally strong, be self disciplined and above all,  have the God factor that will give you the grace needed to reign you in.
There must be a teachable spirit is a quality both partners need to build a healthy relationship. Some men may think that a teachable spirit should be a quality for only women because they are meant to submit to the men but the truth is that as a man if you are not teachable then you have a big problem called pride. We know that men naturally have ego but that shouldn't be an excuse. As a man you must also have a teachable spirit no matter your level of ego.

So what does it mean to be teachable? To be teachable means your willingness to learn, your willingness to accept that you are wrong and your willingness to listen to corrections when you are corrected.

No relationship is perfect and there are times that you as a person will do something wrong but when your partner tries to correct you, how do you react?. Are you open to the corrections or you just feel like your partner has no right to tell you what you did is wrong.

Note that teachability is not a sign of foolishness or inferiority neither is it a sign of weakness. It only displays your level of humility and meekness. Humility is a sign that you are teachable and pride is a sign that you are not teachable. It's as simple as that.

Pride makes you a god to yourself, your life will revolve around only yourself. Pride will make you to be too arrogant to be instructed or corrected. Pride will make you feel like nobody has reached the standard to point your attention to your wrongs not even your partner. The simple truth is that pride can destroy you and it can also wreck your relationship.

If you have a problem with learning from the good advice your partner gives you then you need to check yourself. If you find it difficult to listen to the corrections your partner gives when you do something wrong then you need to check yourself.If you are always justifying your wrongs even when you know fully well that what you did is not right then you need to check yourself.

If you shun your partner when he or she is telling you the things you did wrong then you need to check yourself. These are real signs that you lack a teachable spirit so you need to work on yourself. Can a teachable spirit be cultivated? Yes it can.

All you need to do is to be willing to learn from your partner, be willing to always accept that you are wrong and apologise and be open to corrections as well.

Always remember that a healthy relationship is built when both partners are always open to learning and corrections from each other. Cultivate a teachable spirit because it will go a long way in sustaining your relationship.



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